Thursday, 25 June 2015

Crying a necessary evil

As a woman, crying, I think you have a love hate relationship with at least I do. I have been sent the message either directly or indirectly that crying is bad. Crying is a sign of weakness or manipulation of other people. Crying means you are out of control, immature or just plain manipulative. My relationship with crying has been somewhat strained over my life time. 

Recently however I have begun to accept that crying might not at its core be any of those things. I have learnt that crying is a physical response for an unseen pain be that physical, emotional or psychological or a mysterious other. Having adjusted my mindset I find myself able to cope better with crying. That is until you are faced with it too regularly. 

I recently sat with some friends as we discussed the hormonal torture teen girls can have with excessive crying for apparently no reason. The surge of hormones in their little bodies can mean the simplest action can result in unmerited crying. One of the parents said they could tell I was a mother of boys as I didn't have the whole cuddle for hours while you cry for no reason attitude. They then were shocked to find I grew up in a house filled with women. My mother a single parent raised her three daughters without input from any male influences. The surprise was all over their faces. Then they almost fell over when I said there was very little crying in our home. I remember crying quietly in bathrooms whenever it would hit me but I never cried in front of my mum and certainly didn't spend hours being comforted. They had attributed my lack of crying to living in a male dominated home when that is not a characteristic of men it seems that it is just a characteristic. 

In the UK gender stereotyping is at an all time high if you ask me. Despite all attempts to change it. Pink is for girls blue is for boys. Girls cry and boys don't. This oversimplification of life leads to many problems. Crying being one of them. Is a man less a man if he feels the loss of something and cries. Is a woman less of a woman is she does not have a good cry every now and then for no reason. 

I don't think I am suggesting that everyone should stick to one method but surely crying should not be attributed to gender but should be attributed to whatever circumstances surround the crying. So if your a hormonal teenager then guess what crying, anger, chattering, and many more can be attributed because your body is trying to get the balance of hormones right. If you have suffered great pain then you might just cry and sometimes you might not because your body is overwhelmed to actually do that. But rather than demonising crying as a weak girly thing and thus putting women down how about myself included just confess that crying is a physiological response to an emotional stimulus. 

No comments:

Post a Comment