Sunday 19 December 2010

Control Freak

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Psalm 37:23-24

This blog isn't for everyone. If you are not a control freak or highly organised what you are about to read will make no sense to you. Even if you are I accept that I might just be quirky and you will think whoa after reading this.

A life out of control is a difficult thing. I know choice is always available to you. But really when all you can do is choose to feel better about the situation but not change the actual situation, frustration can follow. So this is where I find myself feeling helpless to change my circumstances. I have plenty of ideas, plans and action but change is not forthcoming.

I am a person that likes to be organised and in control. I can admit that. It doesn't mean that I am constantly battling for power because I am not. I accept that there are times when others need to be in charge but in my personal space and life I don't leave it to chance. Even if you came to my home you will notice a distinct difference in space. My husband space creative zone my space ordered and tidy.

In the past 12 months however my life has taken a total 180. I went from planned and organised to living with chaos and no direction. So I should as a Christian take comfort in Psalms 37 and for the most part I do but very so often I get just a little frustrated with it. That might not be the right thing to say it's the truth.

Knowing that God has all the answers. Knowing that he can see the big picture and can see what moves I should make should provide comfort. In fact however there are occasions where I just find it frustrating. I get that I should feel happy that God who has my best interests at heart and loves me beyond all that is in this world knows what's best for me. However most days I just want to jump up and down like a little child and scream tell me the answer. I have of late been resisting the urge to do this, problem is the urge is becoming more frequent. So what do I do about it?

Proactive, it's a word you here a lot especially by driven people, be proactive. In this case it's the only way for me to survive. Inside of waiting for those feelings of frustration to come upon me and just take over my mind I have decided to fight before it happens. So now the text that causes me so much frustration I have begun to see the joy in.

It's not that difficult really once you see that God loves you, him walking with you is a real joy. For me the real joy comes in the last part of the text

"for the Lord holds them by the hand"

He is not leaving me to wonder aimlessly alone he is holding my hand right in it with me. Should I stray or wonder to far, his hand is there to bring me back. See the first part of the text might tell me he knows something I don't know. But the last part says with what he knows he stands right beside me facing the world.

So it's OK I think for me to get a little frustrated that life isn't going quite as I imagined because that doesn't matter. What matters is that God the creator of all, the sustainer of all and the God of the universe comes down and takes my hand and stands with me through it all. I hope for anyone feeling the way I do that you take comfort in the fact that God is there hand outstretched waiting to take yours through this journey of life.