Thursday, 25 June 2015

40 Day Fast - in the midst of the challenge

Hi today I am in the midst of the fire. You ask me what challenge are you facing? Well I could list all the little things that have bought me to the point of crying in front of someone else or I could say life. Life isn't easy. We can all identify with that. Each one of us can say life isn't easy. I may not know each thing that makes your life challenging but knowing my own challenges I can empathise with you. So today I am in the middle of life's drama. The difficulty is that I want to give up on my fast accept defeat and roll over. 

What should I do when I feel like lying down on the floor an giving up on life?! Make good choices. Do the things I know that make for the best life in the end. Move forward no matter my feelings. This is not easy. Often I find myself sitting alone or in a crowd with tears in my eyes wondering how am I supposed to do another day.  But each day I get up and I breathe through it anyway. 

Today I am choosing to continue my fast.  Not because I feel like it. Not because it's solving any of my problems. Not because I am trying to bribe God into doing what I want. I am choosing to fast because he loved me first. Because he loves me first I will fast to draw closer to him no matter how I feel. 

So I write this with tears in my eyes completely and utterly low and desperate with no way out of my situation. I choose to go beyond that and walk and live and fast. 

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