Friday, 24 October 2014

Knitting and rest

Is there anything better than creating something? How about creating something on sabbath? I love making things it's true. I also love rest. Today I got to combine the two. I had absolutely no company for a day. So I made a scarf. 

It got me thinking how could we incorporate knitting and sabbath? 

Well I think the best thing would be to do it together. The next thing would be to do it for others. Third thing is talk as you knit. Share jesus as you knit. Seems like that might be a worship session I want to attend. 

Have a lovely sabbath x

Apple Pie, Faith and Change.

I am sitting in Holland in a fast food establishment, eating their version of Apple pie, wishing that would come to my home town. 

Reading a book that has been my companion the last few months of some very deep pain. 

What Good is God? This book has been my inspiration to continue on my journey to helping others. At a time of great pain for myself this book has inspired me to continue to seek ways of helping others. But it hasn't been without tears. The book covers some horrendous chapters in human history and behaviour. It tells us stories that we should feel ashamed of. More than that it tells fat too many stories in which Christians should hang their head in shame. Too many times when instead of seeking the truth from Hod we go with our corrupted own interpretation and cause a lot of pain. One of those chapters touches on the segregation of the South. I must admit as Philip Yancey tells the story my heart is filled with pain and my eyes well up with tears sitting here eating my apple pie. 

I arrive at a section which makes my heart bleed more than I care to admit. 

In it a christian univeristy has to apologise for their racism as up until the year 2000 they banned interracial dating! Seriously a mere 14 years ago this was still banned. I am ready to throw in the towel a sentiment share by the author himself he meets and so do I Dr Scott Morris. This man is seeking to change the lives of those most vulnerable in his community of Memphis. As I read his story unfolding of how he decided to change the lives of the poor and abused in the community. I saw his deliberate action. So today I want to choose to do better. 

This man has chosen to dedicate his life to educating, treating, helping and inspiring others. What about me? I am sitting in a country where I don't speak the language having a genuine timeout from my life. It's not so easy to strike up a conversation with others here in this place. But surely I can use this time to do something. 

I know I need to study more because one area I want to use to help others is the creative. I believe that God creating us in his image as creative beings we find great healing and comfort when we create. Isn't that why art, dance and music have such profound effects on those people. So I would like to open a place where creativity is at the heart but more than that people can did healing as they create from the ultimate source of creation. Our God. Now how am I going to do this? There in lies the challenge. Bring it on. My prayer for this weekend is now Lord help me did a way. 

Monday, 20 October 2014

My soul hurts

I sat trying to write positively about myself for a job application form I had putting off for a few days. My soul hurts and I couldn't find the words. 

My husband asked me if I was excited about my upcoming trip with no kids. I tried to talk positively but my soul hurts. 

A friend asked me how my day went and I avoided the topic gracefully. My soul hurts and I couldn't answer without breaking down. 

Acquaintances ask me how I am doing. I try to respond fine as this is the customarily polite response. But my soul hurts the best I can say is that I am trying not to complain. 

I try to enjoy the precious moments I have with my beautiful kids. But my soul hurts and all I feel is guilt for failing them and not being a better mum. 

When my soul hurts and I find it difficult to breath I take comfort in my faith. I have to confess that this is the hardest it's ever been to take comfort in faith but nevertheless I know God loves me and so I turned to my bibke. 

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (Matthew 6:34 NLT)

When my soul hurts maybe the best I can do is stay in the moment. Not worry about tomorrow but look at those things I have right now and thank him for his kindness. 

My soul might hurt right now. But Gods heart is broken for us when we live so far from him in this sin filled world. 

Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Creativity sets you free

I am a firm believer that creativity sets you free. In my understanding of Genesis 1-3 we are told that a creative loving God made us in His image. I think we were created to be creative and living beings. It is when embrace that creativity and loving nature that we find real joy. 

I had the privilege to sit on a panel with a colleague that teaches compassion. What struck me as we spoke was that if we are to experience real compassion, joy, love opening ourselves creatively allows us to reach that like no other way can. Creativity sets you free. 

In recent years I have taken up and old favourite colouring. So admist learning to knit, sew, bead and other things I have gone back to colouring because creativity sets you free. Let me tell you three stories to help illustrate. 

I once was in a desperate place and needed outside help to find a solution. I had a good friend who recommended a counsellor to me. In those sessions I would draw and colour because the type of personality i have (a little bit in control) could only process this with the help of art. Creativity sets you free. 

In recent years life has been more than a little frustrating so I have taken up colouring. Cannot ever say I was good at drawing but an eye for colour that is something I definitely have. But I was told that colouring stifles creativity in children. So I was somewhat put out by this and stood against it. Turns out that psychologists suggest colouring because of its creative nature among other things. (Frustratingly I have an article that discusses this point but my phone is stopping my creativity!) 

Recently I have been on a show and my fellow guest is a lecturer in conpassion. If you think you know. You have no idea. Anyway one of the things that I really took away from that conversation is that when God speaks of peace that passes all understanding and real unspeakable joy. We know these things when we mirror the God whose image we were created in. One of the main characteristics is that of love and creativity. When we awaken our love and creativity we become free in a way that even we cannot understand.  We did joy and peace in a way that does not make sense to others. Creativity sets you free. 

I guess what I am using myself to do more than anything is to get in touch with my creativity and loving nature so that I can share that peace and joy with others. Creativity sets you free. 

God bless 

Tuesday, 14 October 2014

There is power in words

So the weather has changed here in the UK. It's back to something we all recognise, grey, rainy and cold.  We had it good for a while. Summer started back in April/May and come October we were still wearing summer dresses.  But the weather man warned us it wouldn't last always. We knew the rain was coming it was only a matter of time. But here we are being rained on 24 hours a day and guess what our memories of summer grow dimmer with every rain drop. 

Words have power. I have to be honest and say currently happy is not the way I would describe my current emotional being. But words have power. So one day as the rain drove me into the ground, someone asked me how I was doing. Words have power. I said am choosing not to moan. They nodded and smiled and jumped in their car. As I walked in the rain with the kids they began to feel desperate. Words have power. Come on it's fun lets jump over puddles. Words have power. 

On one journey home the rain was so bad I just wanted to give up. So I held each of my children's hands and we sang at the top of our voices every song we could think of till we reached home. We smiled and laughed. Words have power. 

On arriving for a small job in a place I didn't want to be when I was asked how am I doing? My response was to say excited. I got home early that day and enjoyed spending time with my child doing their scrapbook. Words have power. 

To be honest it feels like some days it's not going to work but I choose to say it louder, sing it more convincingly and say it others more. So that the power my words have will be used to lift me not drag me down. Words have power. 

And just in case they don't I can always wear ears.