Yesterday and Today

Yesterday was a really hard day for me. It felt like the bottom fell out of my world. Like all of a sudden we would not be able to move on with her life. I felt like waving we white flag and admitting defeat. 

I finished my fast in the evening and told God I wouldn't give up but at that moment I couldn't cope. I had something to eat and lay on the sofa for a few hours. I watched a show called Chuck and just allowed the moment to pass without consuming me. 

After a few hours my bones began to other or activity. So I got up and began te process of putting myself in order. It was not fast and I didn't achieve the earth but guess what I did it. The main thing was that I did it. I went to bed that night thinking ok all is not lost get some rest. 

Sometimes life can feel like a process of hanging on for dear life. The one thing my fast has helped me to do is to just allow the lows to pass me by. Let it wash over me and wash away. It's not easy and it's not like it won't be back tomorrow but instead of adding to the misery by beating myself up about it instead I acknowledge and let it pass. 

Each day can feel like lifting a leg I sure where to put it down. But I am learning that in front of me is definitely better than behind me.