The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Psalm 37:23-24
This blog isn't for everyone. If you are not a control freak or highly organised what you are about to read will make no sense to you. Even if you are I accept that I might just be quirky and you will think whoa after reading this.
A life out of control is a difficult thing. I know choice is always available to you. But really when all you can do is choose to feel better about the situation but not change the actual situation, frustration can follow. So this is where I find myself feeling helpless to change my circumstances. I have plenty of ideas, plans and action but change is not forthcoming.
I am a person that likes to be organised and in control. I can admit that. It doesn't mean that I am constantly battling for power because I am not. I accept that there are times when others need to be in charge but in my personal space and life I don't leave it to chance. Even if you came to my home you will notice a distinct difference in space. My husband space creative zone my space ordered and tidy.
In the past 12 months however my life has taken a total 180. I went from planned and organised to living with chaos and no direction. So I should as a Christian take comfort in Psalms 37 and for the most part I do but very so often I get just a little frustrated with it. That might not be the right thing to say it's the truth.
Knowing that God has all the answers. Knowing that he can see the big picture and can see what moves I should make should provide comfort. In fact however there are occasions where I just find it frustrating. I get that I should feel happy that God who has my best interests at heart and loves me beyond all that is in this world knows what's best for me. However most days I just want to jump up and down like a little child and scream tell me the answer. I have of late been resisting the urge to do this, problem is the urge is becoming more frequent. So what do I do about it?
Proactive, it's a word you here a lot especially by driven people, be proactive. In this case it's the only way for me to survive. Inside of waiting for those feelings of frustration to come upon me and just take over my mind I have decided to fight before it happens. So now the text that causes me so much frustration I have begun to see the joy in.
It's not that difficult really once you see that God loves you, him walking with you is a real joy. For me the real joy comes in the last part of the text
"for the Lord holds them by the hand"
He is not leaving me to wonder aimlessly alone he is holding my hand right in it with me. Should I stray or wonder to far, his hand is there to bring me back. See the first part of the text might tell me he knows something I don't know. But the last part says with what he knows he stands right beside me facing the world.
So it's OK I think for me to get a little frustrated that life isn't going quite as I imagined because that doesn't matter. What matters is that God the creator of all, the sustainer of all and the God of the universe comes down and takes my hand and stands with me through it all. I hope for anyone feeling the way I do that you take comfort in the fact that God is there hand outstretched waiting to take yours through this journey of life.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Time, Babies and Mothers
I just put my beautiful little angel down for his nap. This normally lasts long enough to get the dishes washed and check emails and not much of anything else. Normally as soon as i do anything else up pops his little head from his nap. Today however he has done something he does every few weeks, sleep for hours. Now you might say this is brilliant you have some time but and it's a big BUT I am on edge waiting for him to wake up. I have spent the last two hours doing odd tasks because I am afraid that if I start anything my little angel will awake and the task will never get finished. I have finally taken the challenge after two hours and decided that really this is wasting my time waiting for my little angel and I must do something. Today that task is to write a blog.
The most precious commodity you have as a mother is time. You cannot underestimate the value of time as a mother. First you want time to sleep. Then you want to time to do your hair. Then you need time to tidy up all the dirty nappies that you realise are causing that smell despite the little baggies you have been diligently using. Time you don't realise is very important, before baby running out of time in the day meant not doing the millionth thing on your list. Post baby you are struggling to find time to pluck your eye brows and really who shaves their legs anyway.
I have learnt every single day to value the time I have and to celebrate each achievement I make no matter how small. You might be thinking typical Pastor Purple any excuse to have a party. But do you know what? I think it is better to celebrate than to be depressed over the things you are not doing. Before my little angel I was an organised slight neat freak. In the first few months we moved what felt like a million times and suddenly my organisation was all I had to hold onto. I wasn't doing it well but it was getting done. Those small things like moving him up a size in clothes from 0-3 to 3-6 and actually putting the stuff that's to small away warranted a major celebration.
For each mother the gift of time will manifest itself differently. For some mothers it's a good night sleep, for others it is getting a pedicure and for some it's the opportunity to read a book. Whatever it is for a mother you know, try and help out it might just stop them going loop de loop.
The most precious commodity you have as a mother is time. You cannot underestimate the value of time as a mother. First you want time to sleep. Then you want to time to do your hair. Then you need time to tidy up all the dirty nappies that you realise are causing that smell despite the little baggies you have been diligently using. Time you don't realise is very important, before baby running out of time in the day meant not doing the millionth thing on your list. Post baby you are struggling to find time to pluck your eye brows and really who shaves their legs anyway.
I have learnt every single day to value the time I have and to celebrate each achievement I make no matter how small. You might be thinking typical Pastor Purple any excuse to have a party. But do you know what? I think it is better to celebrate than to be depressed over the things you are not doing. Before my little angel I was an organised slight neat freak. In the first few months we moved what felt like a million times and suddenly my organisation was all I had to hold onto. I wasn't doing it well but it was getting done. Those small things like moving him up a size in clothes from 0-3 to 3-6 and actually putting the stuff that's to small away warranted a major celebration.
For each mother the gift of time will manifest itself differently. For some mothers it's a good night sleep, for others it is getting a pedicure and for some it's the opportunity to read a book. Whatever it is for a mother you know, try and help out it might just stop them going loop de loop.
Saturday, 25 September 2010
Crazy Women
I had packed up for the nit and said non more blogging for me I will watch a silly romcom and go to bed. Unfortunately the movie I decided to watch was Knocked Up. I know I am not supposed to take films seriously but oh my days the female characters in this are little of the wall ok a lot crazy. Then I remembered this is not the first time I have seen women portrayed as crazy on film. Earlier this week I watched Why Did I Get Married 2 and let me tell you good female leads there was not.
As I sit here writing this blog I guess I am frustrated that so called strong female leads are not actually strong but crazy. It's subtle and we are supposed to side with the women after all the men are just bad or losers but truth is none of these women make any sense to me.
Here is another question why is having emotions a bad thing. I am sick of watching these films where women express their emotions badly and you hear men say ah emotions like you are talking about pure evil. You know emotions are not the problem it is the use of them that can be just like money isn't evil the love of it is. Frustration is an emotion and right now I am. Frustrated someone recommend a film where there are emotions from a woman and it's not condescending.
I don't think thankfully God holds this opinion of women and emotions therefore I feel safe in the knowledge of Gods love. But I do wish that the world would be better at dealing with women we are really not all stereotypes!
As I sit here writing this blog I guess I am frustrated that so called strong female leads are not actually strong but crazy. It's subtle and we are supposed to side with the women after all the men are just bad or losers but truth is none of these women make any sense to me.
Here is another question why is having emotions a bad thing. I am sick of watching these films where women express their emotions badly and you hear men say ah emotions like you are talking about pure evil. You know emotions are not the problem it is the use of them that can be just like money isn't evil the love of it is. Frustration is an emotion and right now I am. Frustrated someone recommend a film where there are emotions from a woman and it's not condescending.
I don't think thankfully God holds this opinion of women and emotions therefore I feel safe in the knowledge of Gods love. But I do wish that the world would be better at dealing with women we are really not all stereotypes!
Life as we Know it
I have just seen the advert for the film Life As We Know It. It is released this year and I have no idea whether it will be a good movie or not. However the advert cracked me up. In it the mother character is upstairs in the bathroom while the father character is downstairs with the baby. Excitedly the dad screams upstairs the baby is walking and the mother flying downstairs in her towel says stall it. The dad not knowing what to do gives the baby a little shove he falls on his bum and starts crying just as the mother arrives and he has to explain his actions. It really is a great little moment.
Parenting comes with no rules and a lot of things you will want to be there for. This is not always possible. There can be nothing worse than getting a phone call from someone looking after your little angel and guess what, they passed another milestone without you. While this territory used to be the domain of fathers with the world the way it is many mothers are experiencing this for the first time. Is it easy to miss a milestone, no way, but does it happen, yes.
Here's the thing children are great and each time you see them learn something it can be magical. So while I don't expect you to be shoving the baby over so you can see the first step we all understand the pressure of just wanting to see them walk for the first time. Thank God for mobile phones with video cameras in them woo hoo. So I think I might go and watch the film because Lord knows as a first time mother I need to see someone else stumbling through it too.
Parenting comes with no rules and a lot of things you will want to be there for. This is not always possible. There can be nothing worse than getting a phone call from someone looking after your little angel and guess what, they passed another milestone without you. While this territory used to be the domain of fathers with the world the way it is many mothers are experiencing this for the first time. Is it easy to miss a milestone, no way, but does it happen, yes.
Here's the thing children are great and each time you see them learn something it can be magical. So while I don't expect you to be shoving the baby over so you can see the first step we all understand the pressure of just wanting to see them walk for the first time. Thank God for mobile phones with video cameras in them woo hoo. So I think I might go and watch the film because Lord knows as a first time mother I need to see someone else stumbling through it too.
Scrapbook Sabbath
I love scarp booking or having memory boxes or photo albums. So I have a chalking for this week. This challenge can be done with friends or family or even neighbours.
The idea
Create a group/family scrapbook memory of the week
How it works
For a week everyone should keep a photo diary and collect items from their week. At the end of the week someone should get the pictures developed and source a book for everything to go in. Then on sabbath everyone should get an opportunity to share their week and add things to the book.
To make the book as pretty as you like there are varying stickers and craft items you can gather together to help decorate the book pages. In addition you can collect bible verses from the weeks devotion and add them to pages.
This activity can be as creative as you make it. If you think well I am not arty then put together a photo album. This is an opportunity to see the week from someone else's perspective.
If you have children this can be a real insight into their world. This is an opportunity to connect with them on their level and not just impose your world view on them it might surprise you the way they see the world.
The idea
Create a group/family scrapbook memory of the week
How it works
For a week everyone should keep a photo diary and collect items from their week. At the end of the week someone should get the pictures developed and source a book for everything to go in. Then on sabbath everyone should get an opportunity to share their week and add things to the book.
To make the book as pretty as you like there are varying stickers and craft items you can gather together to help decorate the book pages. In addition you can collect bible verses from the weeks devotion and add them to pages.
This activity can be as creative as you make it. If you think well I am not arty then put together a photo album. This is an opportunity to see the week from someone else's perspective.
If you have children this can be a real insight into their world. This is an opportunity to connect with them on their level and not just impose your world view on them it might surprise you the way they see the world.
Safety
The survivors guide to being homeless: part 5
Have you ever done that thing just as you were getting into bed at night where you had this awful feeling that something was left open. Then you ran around quickly checking everything only to realise you checked it already the house is locked up like fort knocks. Well when you are homeless it is a new experience.
At first you are completely paranoid about safety because after all you don't know anyone and there is only a flimsy door that separates you and the whole house. Then you don't want to offend anyone by making a song and dance about locking up because you don't want them to feel no trusted. Finally you just conclude that you gotta do what you gotta do.
My husband and I probably differ on this quite a lot but as a woman I feel my safety is always a consideration. Not only do inbox want my stuff stolen because believe it or not I actually like the stuff I have. But I also don't want anything to happen to me so taking risks with my safety just doesn't seem sensible. So when I am staying alone in the bedsit I lock myself in the room oh yes I do. There I said it I am proud to say that despite the whole argument about fire safety I am more afraid of waking up and finding a stranger in the room so in lock the door with the keys behind me when I go to sleep at night.
Now this is how bad it is and I will admit it's bad especially as I watch every crime show known to mankind. The secrets out I am obsessed with all the CSI and Criminal Minds and Jessica Fletcher's I can get. But watching this stuff unfortunately makes me a little paranoid. So last night I went to bed with my usual routine of locking the door. Then proceeded to imaging how someone could knock the keys out of the lock and suck them under the door to get in. I know it's crazy but I am sure it was in an episode of CSI or something. I then remembered that was crazy thoughts and promptly went to sleep. I am obviously just fine so there was nothing to worry about at all.
The morale of this story, safety is important but don't go so far that you cannot sleep.
Have you ever done that thing just as you were getting into bed at night where you had this awful feeling that something was left open. Then you ran around quickly checking everything only to realise you checked it already the house is locked up like fort knocks. Well when you are homeless it is a new experience.
At first you are completely paranoid about safety because after all you don't know anyone and there is only a flimsy door that separates you and the whole house. Then you don't want to offend anyone by making a song and dance about locking up because you don't want them to feel no trusted. Finally you just conclude that you gotta do what you gotta do.
My husband and I probably differ on this quite a lot but as a woman I feel my safety is always a consideration. Not only do inbox want my stuff stolen because believe it or not I actually like the stuff I have. But I also don't want anything to happen to me so taking risks with my safety just doesn't seem sensible. So when I am staying alone in the bedsit I lock myself in the room oh yes I do. There I said it I am proud to say that despite the whole argument about fire safety I am more afraid of waking up and finding a stranger in the room so in lock the door with the keys behind me when I go to sleep at night.
Now this is how bad it is and I will admit it's bad especially as I watch every crime show known to mankind. The secrets out I am obsessed with all the CSI and Criminal Minds and Jessica Fletcher's I can get. But watching this stuff unfortunately makes me a little paranoid. So last night I went to bed with my usual routine of locking the door. Then proceeded to imaging how someone could knock the keys out of the lock and suck them under the door to get in. I know it's crazy but I am sure it was in an episode of CSI or something. I then remembered that was crazy thoughts and promptly went to sleep. I am obviously just fine so there was nothing to worry about at all.
The morale of this story, safety is important but don't go so far that you cannot sleep.
Quiet there are other people
The survivors guide to being homeless: part 4
Is there anything fun about living in a bedsit? Probably all the fun you have trying to be quiet because your neighbours hear every breathe you take. If you have been out seeing a friend the most fun is trying to get you, the buggy, the baby and the bags in the house up the stairs round the corner and into your room without disturbing everyone else. Many a silent giggling fit has been started by me almost tripping up the stairs on the fourth trip as I tried to silently put down a buggy.
Living in close proximity to others can be difficult. This is not like flat sharing when you are at uni. Mainly because generally you opted to live in a flat share with people from the uni. You kith not know them yet but you will meet them and for better or worse enjoy their company. A bedsit is totally different. There you are living in the smallest room in the free world with all your earthly possessions and then you realise that your neighbours who you don't know just said bless you cause they heard you sneeze.
So silence and quiet become a commodity to be bargained with day and night. Everyone I happen to live with are very young and me well I may as well be ancient. Don't you find that you feel young right up until you spend too much time with a teenager well that's how I live. The one lesson living like this has taught me is that do unto others can be the most challenging words. My husband always reminds me that even though they are not doing it we would like them to so we must set the example. You have no idea how difficult this is. Most days I just want to stand and scream but then I remember it's not just me. I have a little boy who is watching to see how I handle adversity and learning how to deal with it himself. If I want to raise the kind of young man who is kind and considerate and loving then I need to demonstrate those things daily.
Living in a bedsit provides us many challenges and being quiet is definitely one of them. However it also provides many opportunities to learn new skills like not stepping like an elephant :0) No seriously the opportunity is there to practice all those things we tell others to do especially children like be kind to others no matter what. Let me tell you I have a new found respect for the kids that actually manage this as it's not easy. As for the adults well we are not often challenged that way because we live in our own space and can block others out but when you share your space with others then it becomes real.
Is there anything fun about living in a bedsit? Probably all the fun you have trying to be quiet because your neighbours hear every breathe you take. If you have been out seeing a friend the most fun is trying to get you, the buggy, the baby and the bags in the house up the stairs round the corner and into your room without disturbing everyone else. Many a silent giggling fit has been started by me almost tripping up the stairs on the fourth trip as I tried to silently put down a buggy.
Living in close proximity to others can be difficult. This is not like flat sharing when you are at uni. Mainly because generally you opted to live in a flat share with people from the uni. You kith not know them yet but you will meet them and for better or worse enjoy their company. A bedsit is totally different. There you are living in the smallest room in the free world with all your earthly possessions and then you realise that your neighbours who you don't know just said bless you cause they heard you sneeze.
So silence and quiet become a commodity to be bargained with day and night. Everyone I happen to live with are very young and me well I may as well be ancient. Don't you find that you feel young right up until you spend too much time with a teenager well that's how I live. The one lesson living like this has taught me is that do unto others can be the most challenging words. My husband always reminds me that even though they are not doing it we would like them to so we must set the example. You have no idea how difficult this is. Most days I just want to stand and scream but then I remember it's not just me. I have a little boy who is watching to see how I handle adversity and learning how to deal with it himself. If I want to raise the kind of young man who is kind and considerate and loving then I need to demonstrate those things daily.
Living in a bedsit provides us many challenges and being quiet is definitely one of them. However it also provides many opportunities to learn new skills like not stepping like an elephant :0) No seriously the opportunity is there to practice all those things we tell others to do especially children like be kind to others no matter what. Let me tell you I have a new found respect for the kids that actually manage this as it's not easy. As for the adults well we are not often challenged that way because we live in our own space and can block others out but when you share your space with others then it becomes real.
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